‘They’ve been cruising the streets for you guys like a bunch of bananas.’
It’s been 20 years since nuclear war has devastated the planet, and the resulting radiation has left the population sterile. The last fertile woman left on Earth is hidden in a fortified New York, and one man gets the job of bringing her out…
Gloriously silly post-apocalyptic nonsense from co-writer and director Sergio Martino, hiding behind the name of Martin Dolman. Michael Sopkiw is this week’s bargain basement Snake Plissken, and his rag-tag team of misfits on a mission include Valentine Monnier, George Eastman and Romano Puppo.
Clik here to view.
Two decades after a devastating war, the Eurac Monarchy is looking to complete its takeover of the planet. A fortified New York has become their headquarters, and their mounted soldiers patrol the ruins, eradicating most of the surviving population and capturing those relatively uncontaminated by radiation. No child has been born in 15 years, and their scientists need fresh subjects for their genetic research into the problem.
Clik here to view.
Meanwhile, their defeated opponents, the Pan-American Confederacy, are regrouping but with no intention of renewing hostilities. Instead, they plan to abandon Earth entirely and leave on a rocketship for Alpha Centauri. But there is no future without children, and there’s a rumour of a woman hidden somewhere in New York who is still fertile. Their President (Edmund Purdom) orders the capture of ex-soldier Parsifal (Sopkiw), the only man who can penetrate the city and find the woman if she exists. A reluctant Sopkiw takes the mission on the promise of a seat on the rocket ship.
There’s a wonderful sense of ‘anything goes’ in Martino’s riff on John Carpenter’s classic ‘Escape from New York’ (1981). Instead of rescuing a President with the key to stopping a global war, Martino and co-writers Ernesto Gastaldi and Gabriel Rossini up the stakes by putting the biological future of humanity on the line. Then they throw a little vehicular mayhem, cyborgs, flesh-eating rats, dwarves, mutants, flamethrowers, and ape-men into the mix, resulting in a heady brew with a definite whiff of the tastiest cheese.
Clik here to view.
The film opens with a memorable sequence; a lone man (James Edward Sampson) plays the trumpet while staring across the water at Manhattan Island at night. The camera creeps slowly through the ruins as the impressive score by Oliver Onions kicks in. The model work is surprisingly accomplished and speaks to higher production values than many of its contemporaries. Of course, it’s far from perfect, but it does help to set the stage and provide what follows with a sense of scale. From there, we meet Parsifal (Sopkiw), who is taking part in a vehicular death match in a desert quarry. It’s not ‘Mad Max 2/The Road Warrior’ (1981) by any means, but the cars have big spikes and rocket launchers and the action and stunt work is decently staged. Martino was a veteran, seasoned director, and he brings a stamp of quality to the project throughout.
Unsurprisingly, Sopkiw wins the contest and claims his prize: love slave Flower (Alessandra Tani). She doesn’t seem disappointed to end up on the back of Sopkiw’s bike but is even more grateful when he just lets her go. This action establishes his status as this post-apocalyptic world’s last honourable man and the film’s hero. Unfortunately, he takes his eye off the ball, and he’s immediately kidnapped and flown to Alaska, the last outpost of the Pan-American Confederacy. There, he meets his old boss, President Purdom, and is tasked with getting the last fertile woman out of New York. Otherwise, their plan to head for Alpha Centauri and restart the human race is dead on the launch pad. He doesn’t want to do it, of course (he’s a 1980s action hero, after all), but takes the job when he gets a ticket to ride on the rocket.
Clik here to view.
Purdom assigns him some help in the form of one-eyed tough nut Ratchet (Puppo) and the one-handed Bronx (Paolo Maria Scalondro), who has the local knowledge they need. When they get to the Big Apple, the fun really begins. Sopkiw and his crew join up with local blonde bombshell Giara (Monnier), Shorty (Luigi D’Ecclesia) and his gang of renegade dwarves and horny mutant Big Ape, played with his usual gusto by Eastman. Eurac soldiers pursue them on horseback with flamethrowers as the Eurac Commander (Serge Feuillard) and his sexy sidekick Ania (Anna Kanakis) try to get their hands on the ovaries in question. There’s the usual requisite roster of captures, escapes and rescues before Sopkiw and his motley band find their prize and head for the exit.
There’s a lot to love here: the unflagging pace, the outlandish elements and everyone’s apparent determination to take all this seriously. Sopkiw makes for a likeable hero, although he is overshadowed a little by Eastman’s ape man and villains Kanakis and Feuillard. The former is particularly good as she caresses Sopkiw’s chest hair and mixes her passionate kisses with threats of torture and death. It’s a pity the two only share one scene, and her character isn’t present for the final showdown. If the pace ever threatens to flag, the creative team chucks in another handful of tropes, with Eastman and his ‘Planet of the Apes’ rejects being a particular highlight even if they should have been given a little more to do.
Clik here to view.
Of course, there are some flaws, and these are mainly evident in the final act. Although the practical FX are good throughout, the climactic chase through the Lincoln Tunnel is distinctly underwhelming. Like a certain bridge I could mention, the route is mined, but these explosive devices light up in the dark, which makes them rather pointless. Similarly, the barricades they need to breach are conquered by driving up the wall a bit. It’s a shame that there weren’t more resources available to create something more impressive, especially considering the opticals and model work elsewhere are pretty good. There’s also very creative production design, with the Eurac control room boasting Picasso’s ‘Guernica’ hanging on one wall, although looking a little the worse for wear.
Martino posted a directorial career that lasted over 40 years in the Italian industry. He started as a production manager and assistant director in the early 1960s, including an uncredited contribution in the latter capacity to Mario Bava’s ‘The Whip and The Body/La Frusta e il Corpo’ (1963). His debut feature was Spaghetti Western ‘Arizona Colt, Hired Gun/Arizona si scatenò… e li fece fuori tutti!’ (1970), but his first notable work was the five high-quality Giallo pictures he delivered from 1971 to 1975. Although the highlight remains the first entry, ‘The Strange Vice of Mrs. Wardh/Lo strano vizio della signora Wardh (1971), the other pictures are still among the best of their kind, particularly ‘All the Colors of the Dark/Tutti i colori del buio’ (1972) and ‘Your Vice Is a Locked Room and Only I Have the Key/Il tuo vizio è una stanza chiusa e solo io ne ho la chiave (1972).
Clik here to view.
By the time his cinematic odyssey took him to a Post-Apocalyptic New York, he’d helmed around 30 pictures in many different genres. These included the intense mob drama ‘The Violent Professionals/Milano trema: la polizia vuole giustizia’ (1973), various Westerns and comedies and monster mash ‘lsland of the Fishmen/L’Isola Degli Uomini Pesce (1979). Afterwards, he returned to the science fiction arena with the somewhat lacklustre ‘Hands of Steel/Vendetta dal futuro’ (1986). The results of his labours were often variable, but his films always bore the mark of a professional who made the best out of his material. He retired from the industry in 2012.
Tune into the wild vibe and strap in for a fun ride.